Monday, August 11, 2014

Lonesome + Imagination

It sucks, really. I'd love to tell you any fun things I did during the holiday but that wouldn't be so honest would it, since I didn't do anything fun at all? 

And also, I have such a wild imagination (at least that's what I think) and you may ask why
so here's the thing. I like to imagine what I would love to do in the future. If you're wondering what I do most of the time, wondering is the answer. I like to think what are fun things that I will be able to do in the future instead of being present. That's not good at all. You may not think it's wild and it's perfectly normal, everyone does that. Well guess what? Not for me. I told you, at least that's what I think. 
It drives me crazy as if it makes me feel somehow like I'm... trapped. Here, with the responsibility to attend school for the next three years. With this people around me... again. (NOT in a bad way! I love my family and friends but you know what I mean...) The thing is that its been what, 18 years now? 
I know I'm attending university in less than a week now (am actually excited and nervous at the same time about this), but I just have this crazy desire to travel, and this desire to move out to a new country with new activities and new people surrounding me. 

It's not a very wise thing to do, I know that the best thing to do now is try to be present, get good grades and educations, get to know more people in the university, making my parents proud and maybe I could plan for all the things that I've been imagining.... I know. I have always this battle inside my head. Some part of me keep saying 'how boring everything is, let's just travel and get out there' and meanwhile, the other part of me also keep saying 'let's just be present now, it might doesn't look as good as what you've been dreaming, but it also might be fun if you really try to have fun, trust me!' ....
If you're like me, I'd love for us to be friends and actually share about it, because I wonder if I'm the only one. Or maybe, once you read what I wrote you also think that's a good idea! If you do find it as a good idea, please, be my friend. It's been such a lonely holiday, and why not meet people through the internet, right? I just wanted to know that I'm not the only one. 

And as for now... let's just be present. Let's just cherish our time now, be grateful with our life now. Do things now. Learn new things that you have always wanted to learn now. Grow now. Get to know yourself better. When the time is right, whatever is your dream, keep it in your mind and plan on making it work in the future. Happy Monday!


Wednesday, July 30, 2014

A Little Reminder of Being Eighteen

So its been around two weeks since I turned 18. 
Honestly, I don't know if this is really a thing, but ever since I woke up as a 18 year old teenager I feel different. Not completely, of course. I'm still the same Priska, but the thing is that I feel this.. glow. Is this even a thing?

I did wake up feeling different, but I didn't really care about it, I thought it was just a weird feeling. But it didn't stop there, though. I was at my best friend's house when I notice about this. We were getting ready together to celebrate my birthday, and as I was literally ready to walk out the door, but then I accidentally see myself through the mirror and I remember I stopped for no particular reason... That was surreal, I feel like a woman. Even I wouldn't believe if someone told me this kind of story and I'd probably laugh at them saying how dramatic they are. I remember seeing myself in a mirror and thinking why do I feel different and grown up? Since that moment I do a lot of thinking.

Ever since that day, I started to feel some certain changes in me. I started to motivated myself more to do things that I know are good for me, I started to feel like I have this responsible of myself, and constantly thinking about what are things that I could do to make myself better. Like for example, this blog is one of the idea that I came up with, just because I know that maintaining a blog needs a lot of responsibility. Heck, it takes a lot of time for me to prepare every content for my blog and I didn't even know how to code! I did have a blog when I was 14 but that is just embarrassingly abandoned. But now, I do feel motivated as if there is a future me that lives inside me who knew that if I do what I have to do now I will be thanking myself one day. 

I think it's actually a bit frustrating to be a 18 years old. What we're thinking is mostly about "why he just read my text and didn't even reply it", or "i need to get those fabulous heels i saw earlier at the mall", or even things like "what is your passion?" and "what do you gonna do with your life once you're finish with school?" which take a lot of time to consider about, and some of us probably cry over the mixture of hopelessness, frustration and the feeling of not able to solve our own problem. 
Maybe, that's the thing. That is all what we all have to go through to be someone better. Sure, it's not easy to figure out, but as a 18 year old I feel like it's only the beginning of bigger things that are coming ahead in our life. 
That is why, I have this weird thing, and I call it a little reminder of being eighteen. I constantly like ask myself this:
"Pretend that you are the wisest person in the world - what would you do?"
Personally, I also like to remind specific things like
"Do the things that you know are good for you." "Workout to be healthy not to be skinny so you feel beautiful." or "Don't cry over boys, you're amazing and it's not your fault that he couldn't see it." "Embrace your natural skin and curls, it's beautiful of what you have." "Read so much. Save your money, go explore the world, God spend a lot of energy making it for you, why wouldn't you enjoy them" "respect yourself as a woman, you're 18 now"... I still have so much but that is all I could think of.

I honestly am not sure about all this, but one thing I know is that being 18 doesn't mean you can be the wildest you can. Being 18 is about growing up and being the best version possible of you. This is the time for you to start loving yourself, and if this is the right time for you, go out there, find love. I hope you learn how to love and you fall so bad it hurts, because it is the sign that you living life. Embrace the world you live in. Find out why you were born at the first place, what is your mission in life? 
Go, live life to the fullest because no one is responsible about this but you. Enjoy being 18!

p.s: I forced myself to go out at 6 am just to catch the sunrise, and I did! Dylan did such an amazing job on the first take :)
Dylan did such a good job <3

Friday, July 25, 2014

Dylan, unplanned photo shoot and bunch of fun stuffs.

SO I had such an interesting day. 
Last Thursday my friends and I went to this really project which was a music video cover of the song Love Never Felt So Good by Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake. They've done with recording the music, and now it's for the fun part: music video shooting! 
And as for me, I was lucky to be part of the project. No, I wasn't the singer or anything but I did help with hairdo, and one of other friend of mine Widya did help with the make up. She did such an awesome make up ;)
I turned 18 on July 16th, which was almost a week ago, and I got myself a Canon EOS 600D as a birthday present, and so say Hi to Dylan! :) (I did give my camera a name :P)
Meet Dylan the camera 
I knew I didn't have to bring Dylan with me, but it just seems like a good idea to bring a camera since we're going to a studio. Right? 

By the time we done with hair and make up, I brought Dylan out of the bag and start having fun! We did a cheeky, sudden photo shoot. It was absolutely unplanned, we were just lucky we got a chance to use this really cool make up room with lights and everything, so this is the perfect time to use Dylan for the first time ever. Make up table like that would absolutely you make feel like a superstar. So without further due here's some of the pictures.
Meet my friend Juliana

Here's Widya, getting Juliana's make up done.


And the day went by, everything went well and we took bunch of photos when the shooting done. Dylan's battery was drained so we couldn't use him. Can't wait to participate in another project! 

Thursday, July 3, 2014

The First Ever

Hello, everyone!
I'm Priska, going to be 18 in less than... three weeks. No, not a writer, or a cook, or a beauty guru, or a famous person, or whatever. Just a student.. and this is my first post ever! So, welcome!
Starting this blog is something new for me. Also, it's challenging, and excites me. There's a lot of reason why I'm starting a blog, but mostly is because it's fun, and sharing is good!
Also, it's like a blank canvas, which I can use to paint a picture, well, a picture of my life! I love the feeling of being inspired and I also would like to inspire others too, so that people knows what I feel when I'm inspired!
I can't wait to start a journey with this blog, and I hope this goes well!